/eris/

>infinity cup
Jump to navigationJump to search
/eris/
Kallisti
Eris logo.png
/eris/ - Discordianism
Founded 3186 YOLD
Manager Pope Grassstains the Divin'Ⅰ[1]
Team rep https://erischan.org/
Team colors
Extra team colors
HEX color ACAB23
Apple Gold
Top scorer Eris (3)
Top assister The referee (3)
Captain Eris
Nickname The Snubbed
Home Ground Καλλιστάδιο
Official Competition Record
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
0 2 1 3 0%
GF GA GD
8 13 -5
Biggest win
TBD TBD icon.png TBD icon.png TBD
Biggest defeat
/ausneets/ Ausneets icon.png 6–1 Eris icon.png /eris/
August 23, 2020
First match
/u/ Yuri icon.png 3–3 Eris icon.png /eris/
August 9, 2020
Team music
Anthem Aarni - The Battle Hymn Of Eristocracy [2]
Victory Cardiacs - Tarred and Feathered
Knockout Qualifier/Misc. ReFlex - Eris

Goal horn God is a Girl (Nightcore Mix) [3]
Eris Eris is a real bitch [4]
Goddess Porn S3RL - MTC
Assist by Goalkeeper Wiz Khalifa - Black And Yellow (/icup/ mix)
Kits
Home kit Eris firstkit.png
Away kit Eris secondkit.png
Goalkeeper kit Eris gkkit.png
Third kit Eris thirdkit.png


Somehow the discordant followers of Eris have stopped arguing for long enough to disorganize a divegrass team. Can they reign the strife and win the golden prize, or shall Eris be snubbed once more?

History[edit | edit source]

Shortly after Discoflux, 3186 YOLD, /eris/ enthusiastically responded to their invitation to compete in the 6th Infinity Cup. /eris/ is making effective use of its debut to thoroughly embarrass any boards that put actual thought and effort into their team but fail regardless.
Upon the submission of our official game plan, a bureaucratic I.C.U.P. official immediately recognized our strategic brilliance in their analytical response:

"That's an....interesting team strategy"
— Supporter #76 [5]

Only one thing is certain: uncertainty.

Infinity Cup 6[edit | edit source]

/eris/'s chaotic debut against /yuri/ began with the realization that the team roster import had failed, leaving us with an outdated strategy despite an attempted emergency hotfix. Naturally, the Erisian spectators declared that a loss would be declared RIGGED, and conversely that a win would also be declared RIGGED and invalid. From this followed a wild, thrilling game with many impressive back-to-back saves from Grayface (facing a massive 13 shots on target and denying two 90th minute tie-breakers), an impressive super-sub header goal from Maxwell Atoms after only 4 minutes on the field and a murderous foul in the very first play. A 3-3 tie made it clear that the game, was in fact, not RIGGED and entirely valid.

The next match against /sp/ was somehow more insane, a 4-4 goalfest of counter-attacks and counter-counter-attacks. Any doubt of this being the game of the tournament was erased by a yellow card given to our goalkeeper. Despite only 66% pass completion and an impressively minimalist 5 shots (5 on target, 4 so much on target that they went in), /eris/ was able to secure a draw and become the highest-scoring team of the cup (7 goals) without even winning a game. This match has been dubbed by an /icup/ official as "the most entertaining match of the cup so far".[6]

Our final match of the cup was an unpredictable 1-6 loss against /ausneets/, ending our exciting run in the 6th Infinity Cup. Despite us once again scoring the opening goal and the opening yellow card, /ausneets/ were able to shoot five goals in the second half, completing two impressive hat-tricks before the end of the game including a successful counter-attack after a corner kick had left us with an open goal. A second yellow card to [no-one] was no longer an issue as we hectically departed the cup just as remarkably as we had entered.

G-Cup[edit | edit source]

Main Article: G-cup.

/eris/ is representing Greece in the 2021 G-Cup. I dunno what will happen so come and watch.

Roster[edit | edit source]

Main Article: /eris/ Roster.

No. Position Player
2 Pos-GK.png Principia Discordia
60 Pos-CMF.png a strong gust of wind
30 Pos-SS.png The referee
42 Pos-CMF.png RAW
23 Pos-CF.png Eris
87 Pos-CMF.png atretochoana eiselti
10 Pos-CB.png 136199
5 Pos-CB.png Erisian Magazine
29 Pos-CB.png multiball
34 Pos-RWF.png Goddess Porn
61 Pos-SS.png Norton I, Emperor of the United States
No. Position Player
1 Pos-GK.png Greyface
15 Pos-GK.png Tommaso Berni
32 Pos-RWF.png Dysnomia
86 Pos-RWF.png Maxwell Atoms
808 Pos-CMF.png J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
6 Pos-CMF.png Disc-golf fiat
17 Pos-CMF.png Goaltender
20 Pos-CMF.png What the U.S. Olympic diving team could look like in 2021
13 Pos-CB.png Albert Camus
28 Pos-CB.png PROSTATE FOOTBALL! (Ban Evasion.)
+48 Pos-CB.png Wojownicy piwnicy
14 Pos-CB.png is discordianism a cult?

Formations[edit | edit source]

Previous formations[edit | edit source]

                 Formation
Eris icon.png /eris/
Formation: 3-2-1-4
ErisFormation2.png
/eris/'s unique 'Don't Tell Them We're All Right-Footed' formation provides a powerful flanking capability used to overwhelm conventional defensive structures, allowing plenty of scoring opportunities. This atypical formation effectively manipulates the opposition team into standing in really stupid places on the field, invoking both confusion and fear.

There is a strong chance that the formation shall dissolve into a more chaotic 'swarm', a trademark of Discordian strategy.

Used for Infinity Cup 6.

                 Formation
Eris icon.png /eris/
Formation: 3-3-3-1
ErisFormation.png
[Legacy formation: never used]
The unique 'Hand of Eris' formation provides a powerful center field structure capable of driving opposition offenses so far wide that they leave the field of play, resulting in handover of possession. The unusual formation also manipulates the opposition team into standing in really stupid places on the field, invoking confusion and fear.

There is a strong chance that the 'Hand of Eris' formation shall dissolve into a more chaotic 'swarm', a trademark of Discordian strategy.


Tactical Summary[edit | edit source]

00001. Outscore: Sometimes, the best defense is a good offense.
00002. Strife: Othertimes, the best defense is obliterating someone's ankle.
00003. Redund: PES's AI's passing is beyond pathetic. Expect failure and have a player nearby to salvage the attack.
00004. Disorder: Subvert the assumption that bilateral symmetry is inherently right. I guarantee our formation is more right than anyone else's.
00005. Regale: It's alright to get PES'd if we're having fun. (If we're not having fun, then it's not ok and I'll get pissed off.)

Roster Stats[edit | edit source]

ICUP[edit | edit source]

Player Matches Played Career Goals Career Assists Man of the Match
Eris 3 3 1 0
Norton I, Emperor of the United States 3 2 2 0
The referee 3 1 3 0
Goddess Porn 3 0 0 0
atretochoana eiselti 2 0 0 0
RAW 2 0 0 0
136199 3 0 0 0
multiball [formerly 'ball'] 2 0 0 0
Disc-golf fiat 3 0 0 0
Maxwell Atoms 3 2 0 0
Dysnomia 1 0 0 0
Goaltender 1 0 0 0
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs 1 0 0 0
Albert Camus 1 0 0 0
polandball 1 0 0 0
is discordianism a cult? 1 0 0 0
­ 3 0 0 0
fnord 2 0 0 0

G-Cup[edit | edit source]

Player Matches Played Career Goals Career Assists Man of the Match
Eris 5 7 2 2
Norton I, Emperor of the United States 5 4 2 0
The referee 5 3 4 1
Goddess Porn 3 0 0 0
atretochoana eiselti 3 0 0 0
RAW 4 0 1 0
a strong gust of wind 3 0 0 0
136199 3 0 0 0
multiball 4 0 0 0
Erisian Magazine 5 0 0 0
Maxwell Atoms 2 0 1 0
Dysnomia 4 0 0 0
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs 3 0 1 0
Disc-golf fiat 4 0 0 0
Goaltender 3 0 1 0
Albert Camus 2 0 0 0
Wojownicy piwnicy 2 0 0 0
is discordianism a cult? 2 0 0 0
What the U.S. Olympic diving team could look like in 2021 2 0 0 0
PROSTATE FOOTBALL! (Ban Evasion.) 3 0 0 0

Goalkeeper stats[edit | edit source]

ICUP[edit | edit source]

Keeper Matches Played Goals Conceded Keeper Coefficient Total Saves Yellow Cards
Principia Discordia 2 10 5 2 1
Grayface 1 3 3 6 0
Tommaso Berni 0 0 0 0 0

G-Cup[edit | edit source]

Keeper Matches Played Goals Conceded Keeper Coefficient Total Saves Yellow Cards
Principia Discordia 4 5 1.25 11 0
Grayface 0 0 0 0 0
Tommaso Berni 1 3 3 2 0

Match history[edit | edit source]

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers Notes
July, 2020 Japan icon.png /japan/ Infinity Cup 6 Friendlies 3-2 T Goal 41' Emperor Norton
Goal 55'87' Eris
August 9, 2020 Yuri icon.png /u/ Infinity Cup 6 Group F 3-3 D Goal 10' Eris
Booked 18' [no-one]
Goal 30' The referee
Goal 78' Maxwell Atoms
RIGGED![7]
August 16, 2020 Sp icon.png /sp/ Infinity Cup 6 Group F 4-4 D Goal 6'52' Norton I, Emperor of the United States
Goal 28' Eris
Principia Discordia Booked 61'
Goal 70' Maxwell Atoms
"the most entertaining match of the cup so far."[6]

Match of the Tournament
August 23, 2020 Ausneets icon.png /ausneets/ Infinity Cup 6 Group F 1-6 L Booked 2' [no-one]
Goal 9' Eris
February 13, 2021 Fscchan icon.png /fscchan/ G-cup Group B 2-0 W Goal 55'58' Eris
February 20, 2021 Japan icon.png /japan/ G-cup Group B 0-2 W Goal 62' Norton I, Emperor of the United States
Goal 69' The Referee
February 21, 2021 Ita icon.png /ita/ G-cup Knockout Stage 4-1 W Goal 13' Norton I, Emperor of the United States
Goal 17'34' Eris
Goal 90+5' The Referee
February 21, 2021 Dup icon.png /dup/ G-cup Knockout Stage 3-4 L Goal 72'80' Norton I, Emperor of the United States
Goal 89' Eris
February 21, 2021 Otter icon.png /otter/ G-cup Third Place Game 3-3 L Goal 14'82' Eris
Goal 69' The Referee

Trivia[edit | edit source]

Trivia  (Goddess of Three-ways)

General[edit | edit source]

  • Principia Discordia is currently believed to be the only goalkeeper to receive a yellow card in Infinity Cup history.

ICUP Official Matches[edit | edit source]

  • /eris/ have 0% efficiency
  • In every match they have played, /eris/ have been leading 1-0 during the 10th minute.
  • Eris has scored once in every match.
  • An average /eris/ match involves 7 goals.
  • No team has received a yellow card playing against /eris/; /eris/ has received a yellow card every match.
  • In every game they have played, /eris/ have had 66%-67% pass completion.
  • /eris/'s largest loss was the game where they had their highest ever possession rate by far (44%)
  • In their highest scoring game (4-4), /eris/ only took 5 shots at goal (all were on target)
  • In the group stage of the Infinity Cup 6, /eris/ had the second highest goal count (8) despite not winning a single game.

References[edit | edit source]