/eris/
/eris/ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Kallisti | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
/eris/ - Discordianism | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Official Competition Record | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Team music | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Kits | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Somehow the discordant followers of Eris have stopped arguing for long enough to disorganize a divegrass team. Can they reign the strife and win the golden prize, or shall Eris be snubbed once more?
History[edit | edit source]
Shortly after Discoflux, 3186 YOLD, /eris/ enthusiastically responded to their invitation to compete in the 6th Infinity Cup. /eris/ is making effective use of its debut to thoroughly embarrass any boards that put actual thought and effort into their team but fail regardless.
Upon the submission of our official game plan, a bureaucratic I.C.U.P. official immediately recognized our strategic brilliance in their analytical response:
- "That's an....interesting team strategy"
- — Supporter #76 [5]
- — Supporter #76 [5]
Only one thing is certain: uncertainty.
Infinity Cup 6[edit | edit source]
/eris/'s chaotic debut against /yuri/ began with the realization that the team roster import had failed, leaving us with an outdated strategy despite an attempted emergency hotfix. Naturally, the Erisian spectators declared that a loss would be declared RIGGED, and conversely that a win would also be declared RIGGED and invalid. From this followed a wild, thrilling game with many impressive back-to-back saves from Grayface (facing a massive 13 shots on target and denying two 90th minute tie-breakers), an impressive super-sub header goal from Maxwell Atoms after only 4 minutes on the field and a murderous foul in the very first play. A 3-3 tie made it clear that the game, was in fact, not RIGGED and entirely valid.
The next match against /sp/ was somehow more insane, a 4-4 goalfest of counter-attacks and counter-counter-attacks. Any doubt of this being the game of the tournament was erased by a yellow card given to our goalkeeper. Despite only 66% pass completion and an impressively minimalist 5 shots (5 on target, 4 so much on target that they went in), /eris/ was able to secure a draw and become the highest-scoring team of the cup (7 goals) without even winning a game. This match has been dubbed by an /icup/ official as "the most entertaining match of the cup so far".[6]
Our final match of the cup was an unpredictable 1-6 loss against /ausneets/, ending our exciting run in the 6th Infinity Cup. Despite us once again scoring the opening goal and the opening yellow card, /ausneets/ were able to shoot five goals in the second half, completing two impressive hat-tricks before the end of the game including a successful counter-attack after a corner kick had left us with an open goal. A second yellow card to [no-one] was no longer an issue as we hectically departed the cup just as remarkably as we had entered.
G-Cup[edit | edit source]
Main Article: G-cup.
/eris/ is representing Greece in the 2021 G-Cup. I dunno what will happen so come and watch.
Roster[edit | edit source]
Main Article: /eris/ Roster.
|
|
Formations[edit | edit source]
Previous formations[edit | edit source]
Formation | |||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| ||||
Tactical Summary[edit | edit source]
00001. Outscore: Sometimes, the best defense is a good offense.
00002. Strife: Othertimes, the best defense is obliterating someone's ankle.
00003. Redund: PES's AI's passing is beyond pathetic. Expect failure and have a player nearby to salvage the attack.
00004. Disorder: Subvert the assumption that bilateral symmetry is inherently right. I guarantee our formation is more right than anyone else's.
00005. Regale: It's alright to get PES'd if we're having fun. (If we're not having fun, then it's not ok and I'll get pissed off.)
Roster Stats[edit | edit source]
ICUP[edit | edit source]
Player | Matches Played | Career Goals | Career Assists | Man of the Match |
---|---|---|---|---|
Eris | 3 | 3 | 1 | 0 |
Norton I, Emperor of the United States | 3 | 2 | 2 | 0 |
The referee | 3 | 1 | 3 | 0 |
Goddess Porn | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
atretochoana eiselti | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
RAW | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
136199 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
multiball [formerly 'ball'] | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Disc-golf fiat | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Maxwell Atoms | 3 | 2 | 0 | 0 |
Dysnomia | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Goaltender | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Albert Camus | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
polandball | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
is discordianism a cult? | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
fnord | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
G-Cup[edit | edit source]
Player | Matches Played | Career Goals | Career Assists | Man of the Match |
---|---|---|---|---|
Eris | 5 | 7 | 2 | 2 |
Norton I, Emperor of the United States | 5 | 4 | 2 | 0 |
The referee | 5 | 3 | 4 | 1 |
Goddess Porn | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
atretochoana eiselti | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
RAW | 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
a strong gust of wind | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
136199 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
multiball | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Erisian Magazine | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Maxwell Atoms | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Dysnomia | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Disc-golf fiat | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Goaltender | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Albert Camus | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Wojownicy piwnicy | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
is discordianism a cult? | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
What the U.S. Olympic diving team could look like in 2021 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
PROSTATE FOOTBALL! (Ban Evasion.) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Goalkeeper stats[edit | edit source]
ICUP[edit | edit source]
Keeper | Matches Played | Goals Conceded | Keeper Coefficient | Total Saves | Yellow Cards |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Principia Discordia | 2 | 10 | 5 | 2 | 1 |
Grayface | 1 | 3 | 3 | 6 | 0 |
Tommaso Berni | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
G-Cup[edit | edit source]
Keeper | Matches Played | Goals Conceded | Keeper Coefficient | Total Saves | Yellow Cards |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Principia Discordia | 4 | 5 | 1.25 | 11 | 0 |
Grayface | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Tommaso Berni | 1 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 0 |
Match history[edit | edit source]
Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers | Notes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
/japan/ | 41' Emperor Norton 55', 87' Eris | ||||
August 9, 2020 | /u/ | Infinity Cup 6 Group F | 3-3 D | 10' Eris 18' [no-one] 30' The referee 78' Maxwell Atoms |
RIGGED![7] |
August 16, 2020 | /sp/ | Infinity Cup 6 Group F | 4-4 D | 6', 52' Norton I, Emperor of the United States 28' Eris Principia Discordia 61' 70' Maxwell Atoms |
"the most entertaining match of the cup so far."[6] Match of the Tournament |
August 23, 2020 | /ausneets/ | Infinity Cup 6 Group F | 1-6 L | 2' [no-one] 9' Eris |
|
February 13, 2021 | /fscchan/ | G-cup Group B | 2-0 W | 55', 58' Eris | |
February 20, 2021 | /japan/ | G-cup Group B | 0-2 W | 62' Norton I, Emperor of the United States 69' The Referee |
|
February 21, 2021 | /ita/ | G-cup Knockout Stage | 4-1 W | 13' Norton I, Emperor of the United States 17', 34' Eris 90+5' The Referee |
|
February 21, 2021 | /dup/ | G-cup Knockout Stage | 3-4 L | 72', 80' Norton I, Emperor of the United States 89' Eris |
|
February 21, 2021 | /otter/ | G-cup Third Place Game | 3-3 L | 14', 82' Eris 69' The Referee |
Trivia[edit | edit source]
General[edit | edit source]
- Principia Discordia is currently believed to be the only goalkeeper to receive a yellow card in Infinity Cup history.
ICUP Official Matches[edit | edit source]
- /eris/ have 0% efficiency
- In every match they have played, /eris/ have been leading 1-0 during the 10th minute.
- Eris has scored once in every match.
- An average /eris/ match involves 7 goals.
- No team has received a yellow card playing against /eris/; /eris/ has received a yellow card every match.
- In every game they have played, /eris/ have had 66%-67% pass completion.
- /eris/'s largest loss was the game where they had their highest ever possession rate by far (44%)
- In their highest scoring game (4-4), /eris/ only took 5 shots at goal (all were on target)
- In the group stage of the Infinity Cup 6, /eris/ had the second highest goal count (8) despite not winning a single game.
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ "Divin' " is pronounced similar to the English word "Divine"
- ↑ Original: https://youtube.com/watch?v=c6EVPv_vpWU
- ↑ Original: https://erischan.org/b/src/1593511907507.webm
- ↑ Original: https://erischan.org/b/src/1587514909511.mp4
- ↑ https://anon.cafe/icup/res/65.html#76
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 https://sportschan.org/sp/res/1207202.html#1231881
- ↑ https://anon.cafe/icup/res/65.html#1326