/ita//Roster

>infinity cup
Jump to navigationJump to search

/ita/'s roster

Current Roster[edit | edit source]

Disclaimer: players in yellow are the team's Gold Players (maxed out stats), players in gray are the Silver Players (stronger than the rest), players in brown are Bronze Players (occasionally slightly stronger than normal, depending on the rigger), players in blue are currently unavailable due to the rules of the rigger. Said players are NOT retired, as those players are part of a yet to be written section.

Starters[edit | edit source]


Pos. No. Name Face Description Place of Birth
Pos-GK.png 1 Gondola Gondolatcg.jpg Living in the shadows of his much more popular Finnish cousin, this world traveler thingamajig will use his elongated legs and great taste in ambient music to net us a quite a bunch of goals.

A bastardization of Spurdo Sparde with an Italian name.

Bonus Content!

Venice, Veneto
Pos-LB.png 2 Zyklon Calcare Zykloncalcaretcg.jpg His subtle satire will tackle the opposition in ways they'll never see it coming. Watch out, censors! Here comes the One-Man Abyssinian Gas Attack!

ZeroCalcare is a leftist comic book artist who fills his stories and panels with pop culture references. Some anons "uncensor" his art to include nationalist fervor.

Rebibbia, Latium
Pos-CB.png 3 Acciuga Acciugatcg.jpg
>you'll never pickle her in oil
why live

Italian translation of the Girls und Panzer character Anchovy, and some Lupo's lust for her silky white thighs.

Anzio, Latium
Pos-CB.png 4 Totò Sapore Totosaporetcg.jpg
>when you have so many layers of irony it changes the course of human history

A very cringe-worthy cartoon on the origins of Pizza, drawn with a style resembling a mix between The Curse of Monkey Island and your worst nightmares.

Alternative tagline: [Piange in Napoletano]

Napulè, Campania (Alta Terronia)
Pos-RB.png 5 Lupa Lucia (♀) Lupaluciatcg.jpg Definitely the most divisive player in /ita/. Is she a furry? Is she /monster/ material? Nobody knows, and apparently not even the game cares. But she's still with us, for some reason.

The secondary board-tan of /ita/, drawn by the same Mexican anon. Not even the game keeps track of her stats, but that's PES for you.

Roma, Latium
Pos-CMF.png 6 Taizo Momote Taizomomotetcg.jpg The infamous Prince of Makai, ready and able in his quest for love, romance and anime tiddies. Will he be able to use his heightened excitement levels to protect the goal and score a date with an Italian beauty? Probably not, but let's pray there's no icy women around the bench...

The first ever official /ita/ scanlation effort, Taizo Mote King Saga. Thanks, G.S.!

Makai
Pos-AMF.png 7 (Captain) Rita Ciano Ritacianotcg.jpg The board-tan for /ita/, as fresh as a spring breeze and as shining as the sun itself. Easygoing, optimistic, an excellent cook, but also prone to outbursts of anger and pseudo-patriotism when what she holds dear gets challenged. In short, the woman everyone wants but no one will ever get in our corporeal state.

Portmanteau of /ita/-chan, with Rita being a common name among Italian women and Ciano being ripped off from Galeazzo Ciano, member of the fascist party with a particularly hedonistic lifestyle. Created by an unnamed Mexican drawfag.

Portrait by a /v/ anon, colorized by the curating Lupi.

Leghorn Livorno, Tuscany
Pos-CMF.png 8 D.G.G.S. 200px UUUH THICKER

🤰

Sudatissima
Pos-LWF.png 9 Filone Filonetcg.jpg His detractors would have you believe there are better names for a new thread, but don't let them fool you: his crust is as sturdy as his defenses and his style as impeccable as only the best home-baked bread can be.

Literal translation for the word "thread" in Italian, still causes some troubles to anti-Anglo-de-programming Lupi.

"Your Local Baker's"
Pos-CF.png 10 Lupo Lucio Lupoluciotcg.jpg The man, the myth, the legend. The deuterantagonist of Melevisione, this lycanthrope embodies the qualities found in many /v/ anons: always shitting on freebies but always asking for more and never leaving their home turf. His sensual gaze sends shivers down the spine of any goalie trying to oppose him, and if he gets paid in (free) drinks after the match, that's all the better to him.

Secondary character on one of Italy's most popular children's shows, also the current nick for all /ita/ anons.

Turin, Piedmont
Pos-RWF.png 10 Dante II Dante2tcg.jpg Resurrected from his centuries-long slumber, Il Sommo Poeta is back, and this time he's mad as hell. Whether it's incorrect grammar or missing accents, he's going to make you pay dearly for not speaking proper Italian.
>Lingua d'Albione
>Inglesismi
>qual'è
>Se saremmo
>Anno Domini 2018

The de facto codifier of the Italian language. Used most commonly to express disdain towards fellow Itali-anons who can't speak proper Italian. More specifically, taken from a comic book with the titular Dante brandishing a Katana.

Firenze, Toscana

Bench[edit | edit source]


Pos. No. Name Face Description Place of Birth
Pos-GK.png 12 Zuppa Romana Zupparomanatcg.jpg An enigmatic player, mostly known for his weird accent and oblique sense of humor. But how could you possibly resist the delicious taste of true Italian cuisine?

Named after a gibberish song by German comedic group Schrott nach 8'. Positively one of the first memes from /ita/.

"Südtirol"
Pos-GK.png 13 Lo Stato Assoluto Zupparomanatcg.jpg Lo Stato Assoluto

Named after a gibberish song by German comedic group Schrott nach 8'. Positively one of the first memes from /ita/.

"Südtirol"
Pos-LB.png 14 Falce & Tornello Falceetornellotcg.jpg Every historical revolution has its antagonists: the French had Louis II, the Russians had Nicholas II, the Bolognesi had the mighty Turnstile.

A "protest" by Bologna youths against the introduction of "fascist" turnstiles in a communist library that had more damaging effects than the actual work needed to implement them.

Bologna, USSR Emilia Romagna
Pos-LB.png 15 G. Gabusi 200px 🎺

(((Roberto Saviano))) 🎺.

🎺
Pos-CB.png 16 Duemilaquarantotto Ita2048tcg.jpg
>when your flash game is also a census tool

An /ita/lized version of the popular 2048 game, a fully Italian ripoff of an older flash puzzle game.

Rebibbia, Latium
Pos-CB.png 17 PERDITE.jpg Perditetcg.jpg Can you do any better than DioChan?

Named after the legendary first OC to ever come out of /ita/, an edit of a Mickey Mouse panel.

Topolinia (Segrate), Lombardy
Pos-CB.png 18 Melevisione Melevisionetcg.jpg How can a wooden TV-set play football? Don't ask us, but the only program going on this telly is replays of all the humiliating defeats of /ita/'s opponents.

The legendary children's tv show on which /ita/'s content is based on.

Fantabosco, Sardinia-Piedmont
Pos-RB.png 19 Tifa Lucchettocuore 200px wew

(((Roberto Saviano))) wew.

wew
Pos-CMF.png 20 Plafonierenbunker Plafonierenbunkertcg.jpg +20% Max Entrenchment

The elusive (and frankly quite lazy) main janitor of /ita/, known for his obsession with creating fallback options for the site.

Staff Room
Pos-CMF.png 21 Gargiù Pulottotcg.jpg The short arm of the Law, working tirelessly to prevent those fee-fees-hurting bad goiym memes from circulating on (((Facebook))), stopping only to rob some poor soul of his imported hentai doujins.

The Italian Police force is notoriously bad, underfunded and powerless, but the Postal Police more than makes up for it by being extremely bothersome and prone to corruption. Alternative title: Utente Anonimo di Ita

Right Behind You
Pos-AMF.png 22 Zindagi Afrigani Zindagiafriganitcg.jpg INTEGRATO.IT G'HO BERMESSO DI LABURÀ BIO NONO BIENE DALLA BUGLIA

(((Roberto Saviano))) is a strong advocate for a multicultural Italy, mostly known for his books on the Mafia.

Lambeduza, Zigilia
Pos-CF.png 23 Lupo Disonorato Lupodisonoratotcg.jpg A mysterious anon who comes to post cryptic messages about being involved in some shady biz and having apparently gambled his life away. When he's not busy playing a deathly Tressette col Morto game, he's ready to give updates on his shitty life as well as to score in a few ones for the team.

The Italian Kaiji. Just wait around /ita/ if you want to meet him.

Monte-Carlo Nord

Retired Players[edit | edit source]


Pos. No. Name Face Description Place of Birth
Pos-RB.png 5 Ragionier Ugo Fantocci Ragionierfantoccitcg.jpg The true symbol of the Italian working class, Ragionier Ugo Fantozzi Fantocci will try and rub his own horrible luck onto the opponents, hoping that his "worker's storm-cloud" will strike fear (and a lighting) into the opposition.

Character created by the late comedian Paolo Villaggio, whose bad luck, sleazy lust and perennial status of pawn to be exploited by the elite have made him one of the most iconic Italian stereotypes. F

Retired for being too overworked at ItalPetrolCemeTermoTessilFarmoMetalChimica.

Genoa, Liguria
Pos-RMF.png 8 Il Cavaliere Mascarato Cavalieremascaratotcg.jpg An anonymous Lombardy politician by day, he dons his trusty mask and cape by night to fight off hardened criminals and obtuse communist magistrates and defend escorts and soubrettes everywhere. With a sharp tongue and an even sharper, robotic dick, this midfielder will lead /ita/ towards a brighter future.

A comedic nick given to former Prime Minister of Italy Silvio Berlusconi, known for his spurious sex life and for being the proto-Trump. Also he told everyone that Merkel is an unfuckable landwhale and Schultz a Kapo.

Currently being rebuilt as Silv.io 2.0 in his private mansion in Sardinia.

Macherio, Lombardy
Pos-CF.png 11 Samuele Aide Samueleaidetcg.jpg What's his name???
>Luca "a mali estremi, estrema destra" Traini
>Luca "smitragliata a Macerata" Traini
>Luca "coltelli per balotelli" Traini
>Luca "bipolare e pronto a sparare" Traini
>Luca "se mi tocchi la ragazza qualcun poi ti ammazza" Traini

The first recorded instance of Samuel Hyde being used in place of an Italian shooter. Luca Traini is an Italian nationalist who sprayed'n'prayed at some African migrants after hearing of a fellow Italian girl being brutally murdered by "unaccompanied minors" in his hometown.

Dishonorably dismissed for cucking out and currently on the path of personal redemption.

Macerata, Marche
Pos-RMF.png 21 >GIULIO Implyinggiuliotcg.jpg
>walks like an Egyptian
>dies

Giulio Regeni was an Italian political researcher who met his untimely demise in Cairo after being mistaken for a foreign spy. The joke isn't his death as much as the amount of bullshit the Egyptian and Italian government alike still have to make up to prevent an irreparable diplomatic incident.

Retired to forever haunt the Nile as a vengeful ghost.

Trieste, Friuli-Venezia Giulia
Pos-SS.png 23 DEH BOIA Dehboiatcg.jpg "ALLORA LUI MI FA BOIA E IO GLI DICO DEH CAPITO? CIOÈ LUI MI HA DETTO DEH PERCHÉ TE DEH E ALLORA DI LÌ E ALLORA DI LÀ, ALLORA DEH, E IO GLI HO DETTO CIOÈ SECONDO ME NO CAPITO? … CIOÈ NON HAI RAGIONE."

A Florentinian slang that can be described as the equivalent of using the Chilean word "wea" to construct an entire language out of it. Only true Livornesi will understand this.

No one could understand him so he up and left.

Dehvorno, Boiascany
Pos-CB.png 4 Bennato Mussoloni Bennatomussolonitcg.jpg Anonymous Italian politician, most famous for creating the Partito Faggista Nazionale (National Beech Party), who has certainly not been rescued by a Bavarian Army squad from prison.

Due to the "strengthening" of the Italian Postal Offices Police force, some Itali-anons had to get creative.

Apprehended for ideological crimes against our greatest allies.

Definitely not in Predappio, Emilia Romagna
Pos-RB.png 17 Chiara Cinematografica Chiaracinematograficatcg.jpg Projecting the best Taiwanese soap operas since 2017.

Named after an anon who would host /ita/'s movie time, before he sperg'd out and left us. If you're reading this, come back please.

Performed another absolutely insanely autistic screech and went off into the sunset to fight off COVID.

Vergate sul Membro, Veneto
Pos-CB.png 28 +AFRICA Moreafricatcg.jpg All of life's problems have a simple solution. Climate change? MORE EUROPE! Low salaries? MORE AFRICA! Cancer got you down? MORE GLOBALISM! If only you could also get that elusive 3%...

The Girl with the Pearl Earring's grandma and his immensely unpopular party - unless you ask RAI, of course - is the subject of much ridicule on the board.

Gone campaignin'.

Bra, Piedmont
Pos-GK.png 1 Matteo Salvini Matteosalvinitcg.jpg Sometimes, the right man arrives at the right place, at the right time, to set things right once and for all. Matteo Salvini's superb skills in saving the Italian borders from those pesky unaccompanied minors and African doctors will surely bring /ita/ into the Top 16 and even beyond.

Matteo Salvini is one of a pair of current Vice-Prime Ministers and leader of the "Far" Right Italian party Lega Nord (Northern League) with strong anti-immigration stances.

Forcibly removed from the premises after siding with the Center-Left.

Milan, Lombardy
Pos-CMF.png 27 Contenuti Illegali Contenutiillegalitcg.jpg "Could these be the illegal content hosted on our platform?"

A bizarre adult cartoon about a narcissistic and popular Italian singer, which went live on primetime to the delight of absolutely no one, but whose parodies just so happened to be posted around the times of our shadow ban.

Permanently banned for sexist content and perpetual insanity.

Milan, Lombardy
Pos-RB.png 19 Harrycotter 200px wew

(((Roberto Saviano))) wew.

wew